100 Great Glasgow Jokes & One Liners

- Fuctifano – polite response when the Glaswegian can’t answer a question
- Dentist settles wee wummin in chair and asks: “Comfy?” “Govan,” she replies
Don’t mess with Glasgow people. They are temperamental. Half temper and half mental
- Edinburgh and Glasgow – the difference, when a gun goes off in Edinburgh its one o’clock
- A fart is your arse applauding
- Three Weegies went to a fancy dress party dressed as a giant sandwich. They managed to get home in wan piece